tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post1168571846089066972..comments2024-02-26T02:14:00.144-08:00Comments on TransFusion: Genderqueer Individuals and the Trans UmbrellaDr. Cary Gabriel Costellohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14478058791195474381noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-2201146114724885272017-05-03T18:34:04.688-07:002017-05-03T18:34:04.688-07:00I get called he and she by strangers continuously ...I get called he and she by strangers continuously and on the same day. My face and voice are very soft, and I mostly wear androgynous clothing: jeans, tees, sneakers. When I dress up, like for a party, etc,. I wear something low cut and old school Hollywood sexy. That's just how I rock ;> Genderqueer works for me. Though I think of myself as a different kind of woman/feminine spirit.tina benezhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11481011541639448007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-85600673119364704592014-02-19T13:06:45.912-08:002014-02-19T13:06:45.912-08:00Hey there, I know this is an old post but I though...Hey there, I know this is an old post but I thought your article was awesome! I'm a trans woman (heavily "binary" identified) who is easily triggered. I want a world where we can all be respectful of the multitude of genders and identities out there, but often have a hard time thinking about how to go about creating such a world. Whats on my mind a lot right now is pronouns. I know I'm privileged and that I pass ok (still get he'd a lot even when I throw out my busty tits), but I seriously depend on being gendered correctly in order to function in society. I know that sounds whiny but it is what it is. I seriously could not function in a world where people were not able to identify me as female with some ease. Its so bad that being asked about presentation or pronoun preference is triggering (my fucked up brain makes that feel worse than being called he sometimes) to the extent that I avoid all places where that might happen. On the other hand I can imagine how awful and fucked up it is for non-binary, gender queer and a-gendered folks to have to live life where they are constantly misgendered. I don't want others to go through what I go through even at the cost of me not getting what I want or need. That said, I'm sure there are a lot of binary folks (and possibly "third gendered" folks(?)) who experience the same level of paralyzing triggering that I do when they are misgendered. I worry constantly that its impossible to create a world where we can accommodate everyone. Please please please correct me if I'm wrong, but It seems necessary to use "gender neutral" pronouns or to ask people about pronoun preferences in order to create such a world. I fear it, because if that became a part of my daily routine and I had to constantly tell strangers my gender, that I'd basically have to become a hermit, or end my life. I KNOW that sounds extreme and probably is, maybe not that many people experience extreme dysphoria around pronouns the way I do, but its the reality I would face. I can't work my way around this hypothetical block. I want to know a better way to address this issue so I can promote it in my own life, in my own advocacy. I want to respect people of all genders while feeling my own will still be validated. Sometimes I think that it would be good to separate binary trans people from the umbrella, but then that wouldn't really solve the issue, and I'm sure we'd be thrown under the bus even more if that happened. Or are people like me just too sensitive, do we need to shut up? Do we need to sacrifice our needs for the greater good? Sorry for the ramble wall of text, but I suck at explaining myself especially when experiencing high anxiety.<br />Ashley M. Wellshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00620860865709688185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-38245461384037330872014-01-16T12:29:47.978-08:002014-01-16T12:29:47.978-08:00I agree strongly with everything you wrote here ex...I agree strongly with everything you wrote here except for one small point:<br /><br />"What I ask of genderqueer-identified people who are not seeking to transition legally and who pass as binary cis people in their ordinary daily lives is that you acknowledge the material cis privilege you enjoy"<br /><br />I would call what I have "closet privilege" or "passing privilege" not "cis privilege". In order to have cis privilege I would have to BE cis and I am not. It may look very similar on the surface and have many of the same consequences for me personally, but it is a different thing because of all the other stuff you mentioned. Plymouth Ahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00539297105353238798noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-79660084940431017482013-07-17T13:32:14.174-07:002013-07-17T13:32:14.174-07:00I want to respond to the issue of female-identifie...I want to respond to the issue of female-identified people having male privilege raised by the two prior comments. First, I would argue that people can experience privilege for being perceived as members of a group to which they do not belong. A trans* person who is perceived as being cis gender receives cis privilege (albeit discreditable). A person of color who is taken for white receives white privilege in that context. And a female (cis or trans*) who is perceived as a cis straight man receives male privilege in that situation. This is true however these people were socialized and whether they wish to be perceived as they are, or hate it.<br /><br />Now, as for the idea that trans* women are "socialized male" (or vice versa), I disagree, because we are active participants in our own socialization. To be very simplistic, if a teacher were to say, "Boys use their fists to settle arguments, but girls use words," chldren who *identify as male* would attend to the first (silly) assertion, and children who *identify as female* would attend the second. That said, we are shaped by others' nonverbal cues all the time as well. For example, people tend to respond with raised eyebrows or wrinkled noses to a loud belch when they perceive the person emitting it to be female, but not when they perceive the person to be male. So unless the person in question has spend time thinking consciously about the issue of burping and how they do it, their burping practices are likely to be more strongly shaped by perceived sex than by gender identity. Thus, people who gender transition often encounter embodied habits that they have to alter consciously. It's complicated. But what quendergeer says is very true: people often try to discredit trans* women and exclude them from female-only spaces based on an assertion that because trans women were "socialized as men," they present a threat to (cis) women. And this is utter bullpucky. Trans* women suffer much more harassment in bathrooms than do cis women, have an appallingly high level of sexual assault victimization, and are the group most in need of a safe space.<br /><br />Spiritualsinger, my response to your scenario is that some people are kind of jerks. Cis or trans*, whatever their gender, some people act entitled, or boorish, or selfcentered, or are poor listeners. The appropriate thing to do is to address that behavior, not exclude an entire category of people that you stereotype as more likely to engage in it. I don't know what behavior you are categorizing as "male privileged" in which your acquaintance engages, but address it directly, without presenting it as a failure on her part of "acting like a real woman." I go to meetings with cis women who talk over other people all the time, for example, and my response is not to challenge their gender identity or accuse them of being incorrectly socialized. I just ask them to please notice that someone else was starting to speak, and to give that more quiet person a chance.<br /><br />Trans* women are women and belong in women's spaces; trans* men are men and do not belong there. Excluding all trans* women from a "safe space" that isn't actually, because a boorish cis woman is there, is just sad.Dr. Cary Gabriel Costellohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14478058791195474381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-23320469469577732282013-07-17T12:03:05.773-07:002013-07-17T12:03:05.773-07:00Wow. Trans friend posted this on fb today. Great ...Wow. Trans friend posted this on fb today. Great article! two comments:<br /><br />1) In the past, I have always found it ironic and hypocritical that there are women-only events which deny entry to obvious M to F trans individuals on the basis that they are not woman-born women. Over the years, I have had an increasing number of trans friends and acquaintances whom I have enjoyed and supported. One of them however, has demonstrated that she grew up with and still behaves with the expectation of male privilege on multitude occasions. At least I now have some context for those events which make that decision (despite disagreeing with them). Any suggestions for feedback to her, should the opportunity to present itself?<br /><br />2) I am a white lesbian breast cancer survivor who has no breasts but is otherwise an obvious female. It's been four years since the operation. I recently spent an hour at the Canadian border being interrogated rudely by the Customs Officer. I could not figure out his hostility. Two weeks later I realized that he probably thought I was trans since I had on a camisole and nothing else (on top) because it was in the 90s and my car does not have A.C. My partner is Native American and I certainly notice the consistent difference between how I'm treated frequently when I'm with her! compared to how she is. But especially I notice how different my experience of the world is. I've grown immensely in my awareness of my various privileges theoughout the years, but this particular incident, once I finally figured it out, was a huge lesson.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-27848145436493431132013-07-13T09:44:10.408-07:002013-07-13T09:44:10.408-07:00Apologies for commenting on a 2-year old post, but...Apologies for commenting on a 2-year old post, but I love your blog and appreciate the way you articulate problematic aspects of queer culture and intersectionality in a way that's considered and respectful. <br /><br />It's in that light that I was brought up short by the phrase: "They may not want it, any more than I desire male privilege or white privilege, or any more than a MAAB individual who wishes to but is afraid to transition desires male privilege. But we all have to acknowledge each of the privileges we have, and how we benefit from them." Trans women do not and never "have male privilege". They may, if presenting as their assigned gender, receive some of the perks of being assumed male, but this is a long way from posessing the easy assumptions and iunquestioning mental attitudes that constitute "having male privilege" in the sense that it is used in most circles. Moreover, this plays into damaging transphobic stereotypes that transwomen are really men, that they're "socialised male" and will never be able to shake that off, and therefore represent dangerous threats or disruptive influences to women-only or lesbian communities. <br /><br />Obviously, I know from reading the rest of your writing that this is not an attitude you ascribe to in the slightest, but the phrase I quoted expresses a sentiment that I see creeping into more and more queer writing, as people attempt to (rightly) problematise the queer umbrella but slip into using language more often used to promote exclusion and cissexism. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-89063233442217990152012-07-23T16:01:18.929-07:002012-07-23T16:01:18.929-07:00This is a really great, thought-provoking, emotion...This is a really great, thought-provoking, emotion-provoking post. Your perspective on these issues is greatly appreciated. Thank you :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-7064519798403626452012-07-17T10:37:10.053-07:002012-07-17T10:37:10.053-07:00I would just like to say, as someone coming to ter...I would just like to say, as someone coming to terms with their genderqueer-ness, this post is incredibly helpful. Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-75622920293981667572011-10-06T19:16:43.870-07:002011-10-06T19:16:43.870-07:00Some of this stuff was a mouthful - mixing trans, ...Some of this stuff was a mouthful - mixing trans, gender, identity, expression, transition, society, power, -isms, etc - but you made excellent points.<br /><br />Like you, I believe in the power of inclusion, and of self-inclusion, and especially of mutual respect and acknowledgement. Policing is not positive.<br /><br />I could relate to some of what you said, that being one thing has its positives and its negatives. As a non-binary transperson who is transitioning, there are some aspects that are easier for me than for a binary transperson, and some aspects that are not, and both of those might be just one thing. <br /><br />For instance, I will never expect to consistently pass as not-a-girl, much less as my actual neutral gender. Binary-leaning people, after a few years of transition, usually don't have this issue. On the other hand, I am visibly queer because of the nature of my androgynous presentation, so I don't *need* to pass as a man/woman. But some transpeople, for mental, emotional, or even physical safety, do *need* to pass. So I don't pass consistently, and I likely never will, which is distressing, but it's not absolutely necessary for me and I am usually in no danger if I don't pass.<br /><br /><br />Luckily for me, I have never had to lie about my identity to access any sort of medical transition, or mental health services (which I have yet to access, but they are available to me). But this is definitely a common problem I hear, even of binary transpeople who are barred from services they desperately need.<br /><br />Anyway, great post!maddoxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04724703551253667180noreply@blogger.com