tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post3229575729317131205..comments2024-02-26T02:14:00.144-08:00Comments on TransFusion: Gender Stereotypes: A Trans DilemmaDr. Cary Gabriel Costellohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14478058791195474381noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-9595373644096587472011-07-27T18:11:54.720-07:002011-07-27T18:11:54.720-07:00The Catch-22 of being trans is pretty irritating a...The Catch-22 of being trans is pretty irritating at times. Like Natasha, I've been in similar positions where people complain about transsexuals around me because I'm perceived to have cissexual privilege. Depending on the who they are and the situation, I've outed myself on several occasions just to shut them up. This is when I'm told that I don't look/act/talk like a trans woman, as if this back-handed compliment is supposed to make me feel better. As an aggressive feminist I've wondered about being seen as masculine from time to time, but at this point I don't really concern myself with what others think.GeboGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06708669716971493603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-34831127508929203662011-07-13T18:45:31.503-07:002011-07-13T18:45:31.503-07:00I sometimes find myself in awkward conversations w...I sometimes find myself in awkward conversations where people are discussing trans-people, thinking that I too am a cis-female. It tells me that I pass completely, but it also puts me in a very difficult position. I CAN NOT risk outing myself, but I WILL NOT tolerate the degradation of trans-people or anyone else on the spectrum. I have always struggled with finding a balance between being feminine and a feminist. I can be very aggressive and assertive if I need to be, but I'm always concerned that it will come across as masculine. I have a lot of conflicting feelings about social norms and how much I adhere to them. I have avoided anything that I saw as being stereotypical for MTF transsexuals, as a mechanism for fitting in as a woman. It has created a weird dichotomy in my life. Things like avoiding make-up, because I always thought it made me look like a drag queen. I never did anything complicated with my hair either. It was my perception that people would think that only a "real" woman would do feminist things like not wearing makeup and keeping a simple hairstyle. I'm lucky enough to have always had a feminine face and complexion, so I'm sure that helped me pass without make-up. But, twelve years after transition, I basically have no idea how to properly do make-up or hair. I often find that the basic things a girl learns from her mom that she takes for granted her entire life, are absolutely foreign to me. I've lived stealth for so long that I don't have any female friends who know my past. So, here I am, at 36 years old, having lived almost my entire adult life as a woman, and I barely know what I'm doing. I tried to find a support group in the large southern city in which I live, but all of them that I can find are primarily for CD/TV/pre-op people. It seems that the expectation is that after surgery, you're supposed to just disappear into society and never mention it again. I even work with two other trans-women, and none of us have ever mentioned it to each other. I'm sure that one of them just doesn't read me as trans, and the other one might but she doesn't know if I read her. It's not something you can just ask someone.<br /><br />I'm glad to see that you've started a trans-focused blog. We have lots of issues to deal with, often silently and alone.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com