tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post408025936058988863..comments2024-02-26T02:14:00.144-08:00Comments on TransFusion: On "Passing"Dr. Cary Gabriel Costellohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14478058791195474381noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-6626638572831259832015-06-19T17:18:29.074-07:002015-06-19T17:18:29.074-07:00This is not related to your post, but I am curious...This is not related to your post, but I am curious about how you define 'gender'. Do you use 'gender' synonymously with 'gender identity'? If so, how do you understand gender identity?Buttershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17101588586387022991noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-60710549128884047332011-08-22T05:26:45.061-07:002011-08-22T05:26:45.061-07:00I found your blog via your guest post of this arti...I found your blog via your guest post of this article on the Transadvocate. I just wanted to say thank you for this article on "passing." You have very eloquently articulated a lot of how I have been feeling about "passing" in my own transition. I hate the term and refuse to use it myself. My transition is about becoming my true self, not creating a convincing deception. I have had the privilege of being open with my transition. I also know I will have the privilege of a body that will not be visibly trans when I am done. For me, that privilege means a responsibility to be open about my history and be an advocate for the trans people who don't have the safety to be so open. I don't begrudge anyone who wants to transition in peace and blend into society, though. Advocacy is difficult work, but I know it is only by our openness and honesty about who we are that we can push towards a more tolerant and safe society for everyone.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-25975526826939049392011-07-27T19:40:17.629-07:002011-07-27T19:40:17.629-07:00Markie and Delphi, I salute you--keep up your effo...Markie and Delphi, I salute you--keep up your efforts!<br /><br />Thanks for the compliment, Sue.<br /><br />Stubborndogs, I like the term "witnessed." And I'm glad you "stand shoulder to shoulder with people who do not get the opportunity to be witnessed as often as I do because of cissexism."Dr. Cary Gabriel Costellohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14478058791195474381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-32523128890567484082011-07-27T19:39:14.590-07:002011-07-27T19:39:14.590-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Dr. Cary Gabriel Costellohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14478058791195474381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-54739366810382886442011-07-27T12:31:50.929-07:002011-07-27T12:31:50.929-07:00Brilliant article and I share your antipathy to th...Brilliant article and I share your antipathy to the word 'passing' for the reasons you articulate so well. I prefer to use the term 'witnessed' as it feels authentic to me that when I am experienced by others as male it affirms my own experience of myself. Earlier in my transition I was crippled with social anxiety as a result of not being witnessed. These days strangers only become aware of my transitional status when I choose to tell them ... and I do sometimes do just that. I realise that I do have privilege within the trans community as a result of how I am perceived. That's not something I can help but it always serves to remind me of how important it is to stand shoulder to shoulder with people who do not get the opportunity to be witnessed as often as I do because of cissexism.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-31647826142916476772011-07-27T10:38:48.650-07:002011-07-27T10:38:48.650-07:00I shall make a brief repost since I see that my pi...I shall make a brief repost since I see that my picture didnt' make it above. I also noticed that the link to my lengthy article didn't print as a clickable link. That was a shortlink but here is the complete location: www.transendgender.wordpress.comDee Omallyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01658512882028641969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-60209859687099080532011-07-27T10:35:31.826-07:002011-07-27T10:35:31.826-07:00Recently, I became incensed (fury on a leash can p...Recently, I became incensed (fury on a leash can produce wonderful work!) at the internecine behavior within the MtF "community". <br /><br />I pondered where we are today in 2011, where we need to go from here, who are friends and allies are and most importantly who the adversaries are whether overt, covert, intended or unintended.<br /><br />As I considered my personal experience (1 job loss from overt discrimination that despite my efforts remained unchallenged), my limited experience with other trans females, my online experience in the blogospheres, and past and current events relating to the extreme costs of transitioning whether mild or extreme. <br /><br />The result was a very lengthy and some might say too "wordy" "white" paper I titled "The State of the Transgender Union". As I read your article, I couldn't help but draw parallels to my own thinking. Clearly, although I have been praised for my ability to articulate, you have me beat and for this I am excited! I subscribe to the adage that we all rank "worse than some but better than others". As a member of our community, your standards of excellence serve to make the "whole" greater than the parts. You make us proud. I know that you will enjoy my necessarily lengthy article here http://wp.me/pnQPn-1l Luv and cheers!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-2406777606769176842011-07-27T10:17:14.043-07:002011-07-27T10:17:14.043-07:00This is so articulate that I want to make it into ...This is so articulate that I want to make it into wallpaper for the world.Sue Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17432899300135835946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-82889289682336044172011-07-27T08:02:39.674-07:002011-07-27T08:02:39.674-07:00As a trans woman whose body is taller and stronger...As a trans woman whose body is taller and stronger-boned. I chose a few years back,to be my authentic Self.People are better served getting to know me personally,and asking questions. I cannot,and do not carry the trans banner,nor the agenda.I am larger,I do just fine on my own.And work and live very publicly on a daily basis. And I am accepted as whom I am,on all levels.But at the same time on all levels, I have the responsibility to inform and educate people along the way. Just being me,has positively,influenced the world ,for the remainder of Trans universe.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-90419554054565062452011-07-27T07:42:17.896-07:002011-07-27T07:42:17.896-07:00Avery, I'm sorry about your being mispronouned...Avery, I'm sorry about your being mispronouned and undermined at the discussion group. I think of deliberate mispronouning as a form of assault, personally. <br /><br />I've encountered the "well, I want to be called 'he' eventually but I can't yet because I haven't taken step X" selfnarrative a bunch of times, and like you I urge people who say such things to use the pronoun they identify with, at least in a safe space like the support group setting. Actually, I think it's very good for people who wish to transition, or are early in the process, to be around others who use pronouns that surprise them, as it helps break down internalized cissexism. In the support group I attend, I say I prefer "ze" and accept "he." In fact, nobody there ever calls me "ze" there, but I still think it's useful to break down the assumption that people who have beards get called "he" and those who grow no facial hair get called "she."Dr. Cary Gabriel Costellohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14478058791195474381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-906442678610585215.post-58335558489849674632011-07-27T06:25:51.136-07:002011-07-27T06:25:51.136-07:00Thanks for your writing here, Cary. I especially ...Thanks for your writing here, Cary. I especially appreciated your thoughts on trans discussion/support groups and the divisions in trans communities between those who "pass" and those who do not. I tend to find myself in trans spaces where "passing" is not really a topic of discussion or a way to divide people (though I have heard people say to others, "You pass really well!" - something I also dislike). <br /><br />At my recent outing to the trans group in my new Midwestern city, I stated my preferred pronouns when I introduced myself to the group. I was the only person who did, so later when we went out for drinks I asked others about their preferred pronouns. 1) I was genuinely interested so I could respect their preferences, but 2) I was trying to be strategic because no one was using my preferred pronouns. One person in the group said, "Well, I'm aiming for 'he' but I just started T two weeks ago so I don't really pass yet and I don't think I can really expect people to use 'he' until I am looking a bit more masculine." My thought: "Uh, wtf." But I said, "I don't care where you are in your transition, I asked about your preference so I could use the pronouns you desire others to use. You being on T or not being on T doesn't affect pronoun usage." So we decided that I would call this person "he" since that was his pronoun goal in the end. That said, he never once used he/him/his pronouns for me - even though I made my preference clear and we had this discussion in relation to his pronouns where I specifically said that pronouns were not about "passing." It seemed that he felt that he didn't have a right to use "he" if he didn't "pass" as a man. By extension, he refused to use "he" for me, I assume, because in his mind, I don't "pass." (I wish he'd try telling that to the other boys I play with!) This was the first time that I've ever had someone who identifies with and/or as trans NOT honor my pronoun preference without apology or self-correction. It was a very odd experience for me and I'm interested to see how it plays out next month at group.Averyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08424139460652884322noreply@blogger.com